7 Habits Parent Resources

In April, we focused on Habit 6: Synergize. Synergize is defined as “the principle of empathetic communication and creative collaboration where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts”.  Students learned that synergy isn’t my way or your way, it’s our way.  It’s about the commitment of working together to find new solutions to challenging problems.  

Our focus for May is Habit 7:  Sharpen the Saw.  This habit is about taking care of your body by eating right, exercising, and getting the right amount of sleep. It’s about being with family and friends; and learning and not just at school.  Simply put, “Sharpening the Saw” is about taking care of you!

Here are some ideas to “Sharpen the Saw”: 

1. Try a new fitness challenge  
   • Ride a bike, try a new sport like pickleball…there are a lot of things you can do.  The weather is getting nice, so go outside! 
2. Put together a puzzle, do a crossword, or complete some brain teasers
   • Activities like these will help to stimulate your thinking.   
3. Make a nutritious meal for your family.
   • Explore new recipes that you can make for your family or better yet, cook the meal together!  
4. How about giving back to your community?  
   • There are numerous organizations in Broome County that seek volunteers.  Our school also has after-school and evening events at times.  Be on the lookout!  
     As Steven Covey said, "Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have - you."

For further information as well as other ideas to “Sharpen the Saw”, please check out: Seven Habits for Families.

In March, we focused on Habit 5: Seek First to Understand and Then to Be Understood, which is the habit of mutual understanding. We learned that people who seek first to understand, then to be understood try to completely understand another person before presenting their own point of view. They listen first and use what they learned to help them respond in a thoughtful, reflective manner.  

This habit is extremely helpful as we move to Habit 6: Synergize in April. Synergize is defined as “the principle of empathetic communication and creative collaboration where the whole is greater than the sum of its parts”.  Synergy isn’t my way or your way, it’s our way.  It’s about the commitment of working together to find new solutions to challenging problems.  

How can we reinforce this habit at home?    

1. Encourage Open Communication:  Create an environment where everyone feels valued and their opinions matter and are heard. Why not think about having family dinners or scheduling family meetings to discuss and plan upcoming events? 
2. Create common goals: Work as a team to set family goals; whether it is discussing who does what chore or where the next family vacation is. This will help to make all family members feel invested in the outcome(s).    
3. Leverage Individual Strengths: Everyone has strengths that should be celebrated as well as used.  Maybe someone in your family is excellent at organization-great; have them take the lead on creating the family chore schedule or let them plan the next fun, family event or vacation.
4. Create Shared Memories:  Engage in family activities that everyone enjoys.  Maybe it is having a game night, cooking the next big holiday meal, or doing something fitness related together. These shared experiences can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories for everyone.

 
By implementing a few of these ideas, you can help to build a home where synergy thrives, which will lead to increased happiness and cooperation.  

As Steven Covey said, “The essence of synergy is to value differences- to respect them, to build on strengths, to compensate for weaknesses."

For additional information and resources on habit 6, please check out: Habit 6: Synergize

In February, we focused on Habit 4, Think Win-Win. This habit emphasizes the importance of building trusting relationships-seeking mutual benefit in all human interactions. It is working well with others as we can all win. We learned that in life, conflicts arise, so looking for alternatives that include cooperation instead of competition is crucial.

In March, our focus will move to Habit 5: Seek First to Understand and Then to Be Understood, which is the habit of mutual understanding.  People who seek first to understand, then to be understood try to completely understand another person before presenting their own point of view. They listen first and use what they learned to help them respond in a thoughtful, reflective manner. 

How can we reinforce this habit?   

We can encourage people to:

1. Actively listen: Work hard to listen to other people’s ideas and feelings without interrupting or making judgments, so you can try to see things from their viewpoint.  Be sure to give people your full attention and maintain eye contact.  
2.  Ask questions: If something isn’t clear, ask clarifying questions so you can gain a better understanding of what the person is saying and where they are coming from.   
3.  Summarize and reflect: After listening, summarize what you heard to ensure you understood. This can be as simple as, “So, what you’re saying is…”  

How about trying one or more of these ideas?

Go one full hour without talking-not saying one single word. Instead, look at your surroundings-watch the people around you and listen to what they are saying.  

1. Think of someone in your life who you believe is a good listener. Write down all the reasons you believe makes them a good listener and share your thoughts with them.    
2. The next time someone who you are close with is sad, notice their body language. Look at their eyes and the way they hold their body. Let them know that you know they are sad and that you want to help.

As Steven Covey said, “When we listen with the intent to understand others, rather than with the intent to reply, we begin true communication and relationship building.”

For additional information and resources on habit 5, please check out: Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

In January, we focused on Habit 3, Put First Things First, which emphasized how to work toward our goals. We discovered that Habit 3 is often difficult as people tend to like to do simple or fun tasks first, so having a plan to complete difficult assignments or tasks that require more work can be challenging, but necessary.

In February, our focus is on Habit 4, Think Win-Win. This habit emphasizes the importance of building trusting relationships, seeking mutual benefit in all human interactions-basically working well with others as we can all win.    

In life, conflicts arise, so looking for alternatives that include cooperation instead of competition is crucial. Is there anyone in your family with whom you sometimes compete with? If so, think about this. You both are in the living room and want to watch television. How will sharing the remote control with this person work? Here are some possible outcomes:

• Win-lose: You get the remote and get to watch what you want to watch and the other person gets nothing as there is only one remote which only will go to one channel, which isn’t enough for both people.   
• Lose-win: The other person gets the remote, gets to watch what they want to watch, and you get nothing. If they win, you lose.
• Lose-lose: You argue, perhaps even break the remote while doing so. You think if you are going down, you’re going to take that other person down with you.

How about this instead?  

Win-win: You work together, perhaps decide to turn off the TV or choose something you both would like to watch or do together instead because there aren’t two sides. It’s not about you or them; it’s about “us”.

Think of each member in your family—what would be a “win” for them right now? The more you practice win-win,” the more your perception of each member of our family changes and you will learn how to work together to enhance strengths and overcome weaknesses. When you clearly communicate how you feel, the “magic” will begin to happen! 

Having a Win-Win Attitude Means:

1. Seeing life as cooperative not competitive.  
2. Balancing courage for getting what you want with consideration for what others want.
3. Seeking successful and productive interactions with others, having positive energy.

In November and December, we focused on Habit 2, Begin with the End in Mind, which meant to be proactive, to think about how you would like something to turn out before getting started. This habit is about knowing who you are and where you want to be, whether it is for tomorrow or a year from now.  

In January, our focus is on Habit 3, Put First Things First, which emphasizes how to work toward our goals. Habit 3 is the most difficult to maintain as it is easier to do simple or fun tasks first, so having a plan to complete difficult assignments or tasks can be a challenge. Some activities that can be done at home to reinforce habit 3 include:

1.  Identify the “Big Rocks”-What are the most important tasks that need to be done for each family member? This could include homework, attending school related or family events…these tasks should be scheduled first before other less important activities.  Be sure to rank the tasks by importance.
2. Schedule Family Fun Time-What are some things that everyone in your family enjoys? Agree on things that you all enjoy and schedule time to do these things together.  
3. Talk as a family to see what quadrant each family member is in. What does this mean? According to Covey, people spend their time in four quadrants; each quadrant contains different kinds of activities and is represented by a type of person. The time quadrants are made up of two primary ingredients:  Important and Urgent. The important items are those that contribute to your mission and your goals. The urgent items are pressing tasks that demand immediate attention. 

Quadrant 1: The Procrastinator- Put things off until they become urgent. 

Quadrant 2: The Prioritizer- Plans, gets things done ahead and puts first things first. The goal would be for all family members to SPEND MORE TIME HERE.

For additional information and resources on habit 3, please check out: Habit 3: Put First Things First

In November and into December, we are focusing on Habit 2, Begin with the End in Mind, which means to be proactive; think about how you would like something to turn out before getting started. It is about knowing who you are and where you want to be, whether it is for tomorrow or a year from now.   

Someone who begins with the end in mind says, “I plan ahead and set goals. I am a leader, and I do things that can make a difference…in my school, at my house, at my job, on my team etc.”  

There are numerous ways to reinforce this habit at home. Here are a few ideas:  

1. Create a bucket list-This can be done individually or as family. Have your child write down the goals they would like to accomplish next week, next month, or even next year. Once these goals are accomplished, celebrate them! You can keep them in an actual bucket and display when they are accomplished.  

2. Create a family mission statement- Begin by asking questions like: What is it that your family values? What talents or goals do you have as a family? What do you want your family to be known for? Choose the most important things you value as a family and write a statement that best reflects what your family stands for. Some examples include:  We build strong, positive relationships and rely on each other for support; We respect, love and care for each other while accepting that none of us is perfect.  

    

Additional thoughts on this habit and ways to reinforce it home can be found at this link here.

In October, we are focusing on Habit 1, which is To Be Proactive, which means to take responsibility for your life.  

Part of being proactive is to take time; stop and think before acting.  Doing some role playing at home to practice the skill of stopping and thinking in different situations works well with elementary students.  The goal of these role-plays is to encourage your child to think before they act.  Here are a few scenarios that you may want to try

• Parent/Guardian play the role of your child’s friend.  Say that you have a new best friend that lives closer or is “cooler” than your child and that you don’t want to play with him/her anymore.  Apologize and then wait for your child’s reaction.

• Parent/Guardian plays the role of the child and the child plays the role of the parent/guardian.  Tell your child that you are so bored; that you don’t have a thing to do.  Complain that no one wants to play and that it is your parent/guardian’s responsibility to entertain you.

• Parent/guardian plays the role of the child’s sibling.  Tell your child that you broke his/her favorite toy accidentally, and it is no big deal as he/she has so many toys.  

   

Middle and high school students tend to rely more on their friends.  They often let rude comments by their friends ruin their day and can be easily swayed to do things they normally wouldn’t do by their peers.  As a parent/guardian, it’s important to help your child understand that it is important to take responsibility for their own life and choices made.  Some things that will help to reinforce being proactive at home include:  

• Make a pact with your child to give up an unhealthy habit or create a healthy habit.  Think hard about a habit that you would like to give up or a habit that you would like to have, but don’t seem to have the time, i.e., stop overeating, start exercising, stop watching too much television, read more…Choose when to start or stop this habit, and how to monitor progress made.  Studies show that it can take as little as 18 days to develop good habits or stop bad habits and that it takes perseverance.  Work as a team with your child to stay positive and not give up!  

• Have a discussion with your child about things he/she would stand up for if/when faced with adversity.  Ask them to be honest with you, not to tell you what he/she thinks you want to hear.  Have a discussion about this as all people are faced with adversity and having some tools on how to handle it is critical.   

   

There are many other ways to reinforce Habit 1 at home, but the most important thing to understand is to put the more energy into things you can control versus things you can’t control.  

1. Leadership skills are learned
   All of us have things we are naturally skilled or good at but that’s the thing, they’re still skills. Skills are things people have to learn, practice, and master.
2. All people develop skills at different rates and levels
   The goal isn’t to mold our students into CEOs or a future President of the United States. It’s simply to help them develop important skills at a young age; ones that they can utilize throughout their lives to be happy, healthy, and productive human beings.
3. Model healthy leadership skills
   One of the best ways to teach and reinforce healthy leadership skills is to model them yourself.
   ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​As a parent/guardian, you’re a leader of your family and by practicing good leadership skills like listening to your family, setting goals with your family and celebrating these when you reach them, showing empathy when mistakes are made, being there to help your child(ren) with problems, and providing them a safe space, will help to support your child(ren) to be the best they can be.